Milestone

       So I am about to reach a milestone. What does it mean? Have I reached some pinnacle and now everything changes? I've reached milestones before, many of them I don't even remember. Many of them  I do remember came and went without any fanfare or major changes in me or my life. But there have been milestones that changed everything in my life.
     Those milestones I don't remember are my first tooth, my first step, my first word. Even my first day at school I don't remember although I at least have a photograph of that day. The first milestone I vaguely remember is my thirteenth birthday or do I remember it because we spoke often of it in later years? Elvis Presley was the flavour of the day and we were all jiving to rock and roll music when my Dad asked me to dance. He embarrassed me by fox trotting to Jailhouse Rock! A few months later he was killed in a motor vehicle accident. Now that was a milestone I shall never forget.
     At eighteen I was a nursing student and had met Howard. We were married when I turned twenty one. Then at thirty I was a young mother with two small boys and at forty I emigrated to Australia. At fifty I was part time hobby farmer and part time nurse enjoying the wonderful new lifestyle in Australia. At sixty I was a grandmother with all the joys and concerns that comes with the territory of grand motherhood. Now nearly seventy, retired and downsizing to move into a retirement village life is as exciting as all the other milestones I have experienced.
     I've come to the conclusion that milestones are not merely the passing of the years but the events that take place in those years. I'm reminded of the fact that we are all living in 'The Dash'. Yes 'The Dash'. It's the dash between our birth date and our death date. We see it all the time...so and so 1944 - 2020 and all of our milestones take place in 'The Dash'.
So as I approach this milestone I am not frightened. I have found some perspective in writing this blog. It's all just a part of my dash and I plan to live it abundantly and courageously.
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Lost Lady

         She packs the books she bought in her tote bag and leaves before the end of the final lecture. It has been a long day but the Writer's Conference was interesting and informative. But now it is time to go home. Looking through the window she sees that it is already dark outside and still raining. She reaches for her umbrella and hoists the tote bag firmly on her shoulder. She steps out into the cool, wet night
      The station is only a few blocks away and if she hurries she'll catch the 5.30pm train. She walks quickly but carefully aware that she could easily slip and fall. Two blocks later and nothing looks familiar. It had been daylight when she arrived that morning. Where is she? How did she get here? She should be able to see Roma street station by now. Maybe she should ask someone? But who...there are hardly any people about. A young couple comes towards her. Should she ask them? No, they are engrossed in one another and she does not want to interrupt them. A group of rowdy young men come towards her. She would never ask them, they might take advantage of her situation. She tries her best to look confident, and agile. On the inside she feels old and dithery, confused and totally vulnerable.
         She stops at the intersection and still nothing looks familiar. A man stops next to her waiting for the light to change. She asks him. "Excuse me, do you know where the station is?"
"Just keep going straight lady," he says.
A hurried thanks and she steps quickly across the road. She hears him say something but the wind takes his words and she has no time to stop and turn back to hear what he has to say. Two blocks further and she sees orange lights...King George Bus Station it says. Oh no! She wants the train station not the bus station. But at least she knows this part of town. She has been here often before but where is Central train station in relation to the bus station? Her mind just won't allow her to make any rational decisions. She asks an older couple dressed for the theatre. "Straight on," they say.
    At last she reaches Central station and hardly notices the steps in her haste. She congratulates herself for putting her train ticket in her pocket instead of having to stop and scratch in her bag. To her surprise she sees on the monitor that she has made the 5.30pm train with five minutes to spare. Slowly she walks to platform six once again congratulating herself, this time on wearing her waterproof shoes and walking all the way from Roma street station to Central station and beating the train.
    She sighs with relief as she reaches for her phone. "Hi Darling. Yes I'm on the train. See you soon. Love you too."

Lost Boy

         "Is she my Mother, or my Step-Mother?"
 He stopped digging up the potatoes and turned to his youngest Son.
"She's your Mother and I don't want to ever hear another word about it. Do you understand?"
He said yes but he actually understood nothing. Why had his friend said  she was not his Mother? If she was not his Mother, then where was his real Mother? Maybe he needed to find her...


        "We are going to visit Aunty Mary in hospital. You boys behave yourselves and look after Joe."
"Sure Dad," but they had no intention of looking after Joe. He cramped their style. They fetched their bicycles from the shed and tried to sneak out the front gate without him seeing them.
"Hey, where you going? Wait for me."
"Forget it. You're too small to go with us. Go play with your train set."
He ran to fetch his bike determined to catch up to them, but by the time he got to the gate he could not see them and did not know in what direction they had gone. Kicking his bike he walked back to the shed.
         He looked around for something to do...maybe he'll find his ball his Dad had confiscated when he broke the window last week. He looked under the wooden workbench. It was the ideal place for hiding things. Maybe his dad had put it in a box? The first box he opened had old rusty tools and jars of nuts and bolts. The second box he opened was full of shoe boxes and the shoe boxes were full of old photographs.


        He sat on the cold cement floor looking at the photos of holidays they had been on. They used to go on camping holidays until his dad bought a caravan. He loved these holidays and loved looking at photos of himself and his brothers on the beach. The next box was different...the photos were older and his brothers were much younger, but what was this one?


         A lady was holding a small boy with two older boys at her feet. He began to cry. He carefully replaced all the photographs exactly as he found them and pushed the box back under the work bench. He took his precious photo to his room and hid it in his room. It would be his secret in a house that was full of secrets.


          

Frienship

I used to think everyone was my friend. How naïve was that? When I met someone for the first time I instantly liked them. Yes, I now think that is strange. But on the other hand, I do like people in general. Everyone is valuable and worthwhile getting to know. I believe I can learn something from everyone I meet.
I have often struck up a conversation with a stranger, only to find that we have many things in common. It just takes some time and patience, a willingness to listen, and to ask the right questions.
But having said all that, it took me some years before I realised that not everyone felt that way, and that not everyone wanted to be my friend. I was quite devastated when  this fact hit me.
I started looking at the friendships I had, and the people I met, and analysed all the different relationships I had with them and the reasons for our relationships. Then I came across this saying which gave me some understanding
"Friends for a reason...
Friends for a season...
And some friends for life."
These words helped me to accept the that fact that people come into our lives for a time and a season and its okay if they are not bosom palls forever, sharing all their thoughts and dreams with me. The startling thing was that they did not want me to share all my thoughts and dreams with them either!
So I took a step back and waited for the unfolding of a relationship with a prospective friend. What I found, while I was carefully and thoughtfully engaging in developing a new friendship,  was astounding...to me at any rate.
For example I met a lady who had very similar interests to what I have, who was a similar age to me and seemed like an absolute match as a friend but sadly lasted one coffee morning and we never contacted each other again. Strange!
Then another lady, this time a few years younger with hardly anything in common is one of my best friends. Why is that?
I have come to the conclusion that friendship is a very precious thing, not to be taken lightly, but to be nourished, respected and appreciated.' Friends for life' are few and special and are called 'best friends'. 'Friends for a reason' come into our lives to meet a need that I have or maybe that they have. 'Friends for a season' come and go and are remembered for the richness they brought to me at that time.
I treasure everyone and am grateful for the times we spent together and look forward to making all kinds of friends in the future.
 

Scary blank page

There is nothing scarier than a blank page for someone who wants to write. That is what I am faced with today.
Living 'in between' is probably the reason for the blankness I feel. Living 'in between' probably needs some explanation. First of all we are all living 'in between'. We were born on a certain date in time and we will die on a certain date in time. In the meantime we are living 'in between.'


Then there are many times in our lives when we live 'in between.' At the moment I am living 'in between' the last time I went on holiday and the next time. The last time was at the end of last year when we went to America. What a wonderful holiday that was. It was worth every cent we paid. I learnt so much about life, about others and so much more about myself. It's all very hard to put into words...better felt than telt! We also saw the most beautiful rivers, lakes, waterfalls and mountains. America is a very beautiful place. The world is a beautiful place.


My next holiday starts in just a few days. I don't feel excited yet because I have so much to do still. There is cleaning, shopping, packing, dogs to wash and all their bedding to wash as well. We are going to the Outback with Wendy and Richard and we are taking Jesse, our Labrador who is six months old, with us. It will be an adventure.


I am also living 'in between' selling this home and buying another. There is a lot of talk and looking and planning but nothing concrete. So that makes me feel 'in between.' I am inpatient and want this to happen now.


So I am practicing enjoying the 'in between' time. Using it to rest, plan, and do things I like to do. Once the 'in between' time is over there will be no time for doing things I like to do. I'll be doing things I have to do, like packing.


So I'll sign off now and do some reading. Till later......

Time to blog again.

It's time to blog again. I don't really know why I even want to blog or why anyone would want to read what I have to say. But here goes.


For those who know me, you'll know that we, that is my husband and I, are puppy raisers. We are presently raising two puppies, our ninth and tenth pup. Thomas is one year old and Jesse is six months old. They keep us very busy. This was something I have wanted to do for more than twenty years but it is now time to hang up my lead and do other things.


I have many interests. I think I have too many interests. It causes some frustration when I do a little of this and a little of that. By this and that I mean learning to play both the piano and the cello (no not at the same time, even I can't do that!) I dabble in patchwork and quilting, and writing of course. I also like to garden and meet up with girl friends for a coffee and chat. Then there is housework, shopping and keeping my very patient husband company.


He patiently watches me flitting from one thing to another and I'm sure he wonders how long this particular phase will last. I wonder that too sometimes. But most times I just keep running from one thing to the next without wondering about it at all. I have also set myself a goal to read through the whole Bible in one year. Do you have any idea how much daily reading that takes.


I tried joining a book club, but found that I could not finish a book in one month. I wondered why I could not do that. But of course I know. I'm doing too many other things.


So now I'm blogging AGAIN. Which probably means I won't be writing my novel. Oh yes, that is one other thing I'm doing, I'm writing a novel. I've taken some good advice and getting a few friends to read some of my work. It's rather daunting. It's much easier saying "I'm writing a novel" and not letting anyone read it. It feels safer. The feedback I am getting has been encouraging and very helpful. I appreciate the changes that have suggested.


Well, I have to go now. My Thomas, that's what I call him, even though I know he isn't mine, is asking to go outside and in any case it's time to feed the dogs and start our dinner. I'm so glad that I have some freezer meals ready to go on days when I get the bug to blog.


Bye for now. See you soon, I hope

Time flies

Yes, time does fly. Pigs don't fly, but time does. Almost forty eight years ago I was a young bride. Starry eyed, I thought at last I had found someone who would meet all my needs.  I lived a selfish life taking and taking and always wanting more. I gave back very little.
I remember clearly complaining that I needed new curtains and carpets. I nagged and nagged until eventually my patient and giving husband said, "You can't get blood out of a stone. I give you  all I have."It was a wake up call for me as I saw the pain in his eyes.
 It still was a gradual change from taking to giving and I would like to think that I now give as much as I receive in our relationship.
Someone once said, "Marriage was not meant to make you happy; it was meant to make you Holy. For me that has been the case. I have learnt to forgive. I have learned to be patient. I have learned to be loving and giving. In these areas I am not perfect yet but I'm trying, which is a huge improvement.
As I look back over the years, It's hard to believe that I made many foolish choices. All I can say is that God's Grace and Mercy kept me from destroying everything precious to me. Today I am grateful to Him for sending people into my life to guide and help me when I needed them.
Watching a movie like "Saving Mr. banks" made me realise afresh that no one has a perfect childhood. That is why we need our perfect Heavenly Father to make up the love deficit that we experienced as children and teenagers.
In many ways it is rather frightening to think about time passing. No matter how hard I try I can't fit more into each day than I do. I don't have the time to do everything I want to do and if I try I don't have the energy. So I 'm trying to find a balance between the things I want to do, have to do, and enjoying every day living without feeling guilty.
At this stage of my life I want to live at peace with myself and everyone around me. I don't want the false guilt of the things I feel I Should be doing. There is no cello and piano practice police. There is no Blog police either. I have only three people to please, God, Howard and myself.