Frienship

I used to think everyone was my friend. How naïve was that? When I met someone for the first time I instantly liked them. Yes, I now think that is strange. But on the other hand, I do like people in general. Everyone is valuable and worthwhile getting to know. I believe I can learn something from everyone I meet.
I have often struck up a conversation with a stranger, only to find that we have many things in common. It just takes some time and patience, a willingness to listen, and to ask the right questions.
But having said all that, it took me some years before I realised that not everyone felt that way, and that not everyone wanted to be my friend. I was quite devastated when  this fact hit me.
I started looking at the friendships I had, and the people I met, and analysed all the different relationships I had with them and the reasons for our relationships. Then I came across this saying which gave me some understanding
"Friends for a reason...
Friends for a season...
And some friends for life."
These words helped me to accept the that fact that people come into our lives for a time and a season and its okay if they are not bosom palls forever, sharing all their thoughts and dreams with me. The startling thing was that they did not want me to share all my thoughts and dreams with them either!
So I took a step back and waited for the unfolding of a relationship with a prospective friend. What I found, while I was carefully and thoughtfully engaging in developing a new friendship,  was astounding...to me at any rate.
For example I met a lady who had very similar interests to what I have, who was a similar age to me and seemed like an absolute match as a friend but sadly lasted one coffee morning and we never contacted each other again. Strange!
Then another lady, this time a few years younger with hardly anything in common is one of my best friends. Why is that?
I have come to the conclusion that friendship is a very precious thing, not to be taken lightly, but to be nourished, respected and appreciated.' Friends for life' are few and special and are called 'best friends'. 'Friends for a reason' come into our lives to meet a need that I have or maybe that they have. 'Friends for a season' come and go and are remembered for the richness they brought to me at that time.
I treasure everyone and am grateful for the times we spent together and look forward to making all kinds of friends in the future.
 

Scary blank page

There is nothing scarier than a blank page for someone who wants to write. That is what I am faced with today.
Living 'in between' is probably the reason for the blankness I feel. Living 'in between' probably needs some explanation. First of all we are all living 'in between'. We were born on a certain date in time and we will die on a certain date in time. In the meantime we are living 'in between.'


Then there are many times in our lives when we live 'in between.' At the moment I am living 'in between' the last time I went on holiday and the next time. The last time was at the end of last year when we went to America. What a wonderful holiday that was. It was worth every cent we paid. I learnt so much about life, about others and so much more about myself. It's all very hard to put into words...better felt than telt! We also saw the most beautiful rivers, lakes, waterfalls and mountains. America is a very beautiful place. The world is a beautiful place.


My next holiday starts in just a few days. I don't feel excited yet because I have so much to do still. There is cleaning, shopping, packing, dogs to wash and all their bedding to wash as well. We are going to the Outback with Wendy and Richard and we are taking Jesse, our Labrador who is six months old, with us. It will be an adventure.


I am also living 'in between' selling this home and buying another. There is a lot of talk and looking and planning but nothing concrete. So that makes me feel 'in between.' I am inpatient and want this to happen now.


So I am practicing enjoying the 'in between' time. Using it to rest, plan, and do things I like to do. Once the 'in between' time is over there will be no time for doing things I like to do. I'll be doing things I have to do, like packing.


So I'll sign off now and do some reading. Till later......

Time to blog again.

It's time to blog again. I don't really know why I even want to blog or why anyone would want to read what I have to say. But here goes.


For those who know me, you'll know that we, that is my husband and I, are puppy raisers. We are presently raising two puppies, our ninth and tenth pup. Thomas is one year old and Jesse is six months old. They keep us very busy. This was something I have wanted to do for more than twenty years but it is now time to hang up my lead and do other things.


I have many interests. I think I have too many interests. It causes some frustration when I do a little of this and a little of that. By this and that I mean learning to play both the piano and the cello (no not at the same time, even I can't do that!) I dabble in patchwork and quilting, and writing of course. I also like to garden and meet up with girl friends for a coffee and chat. Then there is housework, shopping and keeping my very patient husband company.


He patiently watches me flitting from one thing to another and I'm sure he wonders how long this particular phase will last. I wonder that too sometimes. But most times I just keep running from one thing to the next without wondering about it at all. I have also set myself a goal to read through the whole Bible in one year. Do you have any idea how much daily reading that takes.


I tried joining a book club, but found that I could not finish a book in one month. I wondered why I could not do that. But of course I know. I'm doing too many other things.


So now I'm blogging AGAIN. Which probably means I won't be writing my novel. Oh yes, that is one other thing I'm doing, I'm writing a novel. I've taken some good advice and getting a few friends to read some of my work. It's rather daunting. It's much easier saying "I'm writing a novel" and not letting anyone read it. It feels safer. The feedback I am getting has been encouraging and very helpful. I appreciate the changes that have suggested.


Well, I have to go now. My Thomas, that's what I call him, even though I know he isn't mine, is asking to go outside and in any case it's time to feed the dogs and start our dinner. I'm so glad that I have some freezer meals ready to go on days when I get the bug to blog.


Bye for now. See you soon, I hope

Time flies

Yes, time does fly. Pigs don't fly, but time does. Almost forty eight years ago I was a young bride. Starry eyed, I thought at last I had found someone who would meet all my needs.  I lived a selfish life taking and taking and always wanting more. I gave back very little.
I remember clearly complaining that I needed new curtains and carpets. I nagged and nagged until eventually my patient and giving husband said, "You can't get blood out of a stone. I give you  all I have."It was a wake up call for me as I saw the pain in his eyes.
 It still was a gradual change from taking to giving and I would like to think that I now give as much as I receive in our relationship.
Someone once said, "Marriage was not meant to make you happy; it was meant to make you Holy. For me that has been the case. I have learnt to forgive. I have learned to be patient. I have learned to be loving and giving. In these areas I am not perfect yet but I'm trying, which is a huge improvement.
As I look back over the years, It's hard to believe that I made many foolish choices. All I can say is that God's Grace and Mercy kept me from destroying everything precious to me. Today I am grateful to Him for sending people into my life to guide and help me when I needed them.
Watching a movie like "Saving Mr. banks" made me realise afresh that no one has a perfect childhood. That is why we need our perfect Heavenly Father to make up the love deficit that we experienced as children and teenagers.
In many ways it is rather frightening to think about time passing. No matter how hard I try I can't fit more into each day than I do. I don't have the time to do everything I want to do and if I try I don't have the energy. So I 'm trying to find a balance between the things I want to do, have to do, and enjoying every day living without feeling guilty.
At this stage of my life I want to live at peace with myself and everyone around me. I don't want the false guilt of the things I feel I Should be doing. There is no cello and piano practice police. There is no Blog police either. I have only three people to please, God, Howard and myself.

Try, try again

Today I did something I said I would never do again. (One day I will stop saying 'never'). I took Thomas to exercise class again this morning. The last time I took him, he barked and whined and disrupted the class. But today, probably three months after that first episode, I took him again.
He was an angel. He chewed his bone and licked all the peanut butter off the kong and then dozed. I was so proud of him.
I was also proud of myself for having the courage to try again. The leader of our group said, "Everyone deserves another chance." She was right.
I learnt today to never write someone off, not people and not dogs. Sometimes they just need a bit more time to mature. Sometimes they just need some encouragement and someone to trust them.
Leopards can't change their spots but we humans are not leopards and we can change.
I know that I have changed and I'm glad I did. I am not the same person now that I was when I was thirty. I've heard people say "He is not the same man that I married," as if that is grounds for divorce. But no one stays the same. We are all changing day by day, slowly but surely. We only have to look at photos to see how much we have changed over the years. We do not only change on the outside but we change on the inside as well.
I would like to think that we all change for the better, but sadly that is not the case. When I was a lot younger than I am now, I used to think that wisdom and grace and love became more evident in our lives as we grew older. I was wrong.  I met a critical, sour old man who just became more critical and sour as the years progressed. How sad.
So I conclude that how we change is up to the choices we make in life. The choices we make today influence our lives in the future. If we choose to forgive, to love, to live a peaceful non judgemental lifestyle, it may not all happen at once, but we need to try, try again until these things we choose for ourselves become habit patterns of our lifestyle.
I keep working on my attitude and I keep working and hoping for the best with Thomas. As much as I am teaching him, he is teaching me.

Depending on the Tide

I was sitting with a friend on the ferry today as it glided effortlessly along on the Brisbane River. We were discussing the fact that sometimes people are loaded on and off  through the bow entrance and sometimes through the stern.
The young ticket officer overheard our conversation and explained the reason why.
"It all depends on the tide," she said.


 Looking at the river one can hardly see the tide and yet we can feel it's effects. Tides can be very powerful and cause people to drown, boats to be grounded and sand to be washed off beaches, causing houses built on beach sand to collapse.
Knowing what the tide is doing is essential for safety. It is also knowable. There are charts to guide us and warn us of danger. Ferry Captains, Surf Lifesavers, Coast guards and anyone who sails rivers and oceans would be wise to consult these charts and then take the necessary action. It is foolishness and could even be disastrous to ignore these guidelines and safety measures.
All this information got me thinking about other guidelines and instructions that are all around us for our own safety. For example 'Stay behind the yellow barrier lines' on railway stations. 'Wrong way' signs on highways to stop us from entering a highway from the wrong direction. Road rules in general are made to protect us from harming ourselves or others.
Pilots have to be aware of the strength  and direction of the wind. Another thing we cannot see, but we can feel it's effect.
There are also common sense rules that we learnt from parents and teachers. 'Look left, look right and look left again, before crossing a road.' (This is the other way around in right hand drive countries.) 'Walk, don't run through the corridors at school. You may hurt yourself and others if you don't obey.'
'Do to others what you want them to do to you,' I heard a mother once say to her son as she pulled him off the play ground.
Which leads me to the best guide book which I love to read. Yes, you guessed it, the Bible. There I read that there are powerful unseen forces that are constantly trying to confuse us, hurt us and fill us with doubt and fear. But I also read that God is more powerful than the evil forces. He loves us unconditionally and forgives us when we confess  and acknowledge our sin to Him. He also forgets our sin completely. Yes, our God is a God who forgets.
We need to be aware and on our guard but we need not fear if we follow the guidelines we have been given. 

Routine

Is routine a good thing or a bad thing? It is probably both. We all have a routine of some kind or another. Some routines are in cycles. Monday to Friday in bed by ten and up at six. Ablutions and breakfast, maybe some exercise, and off to work or school. The weekends take on their own routine. Stay up late and wake up late. Maybe skip ablutions but never skip breakfast. Slow morning reading papers and watching television. Some people turn breakfast into brunch.
Sundays have their own routine. For many it's a time to shop, to go to the beach or once again just relax at home catching up with friends or family. For us it's off to Church after a walk and breakfast.


Routines change as family commitments change. Babies and small children thrive on routine. It makes them feel secure. When we were raising our children they knew they had to be home by five in the afternoon. The evening routine started then. It was dinner, bath, playtime, reading time and bedtime. There were hardly any tantrums because they knew this was what was expected.
 For some obscure and weird reason that I'm yet to fathom out, we are still at home by five o'clock and start the evening routine of feeding dogs, cooking dinner and watching television even though our boys left home twenty years ago.


Children are not the only ones who thrive on routine, dogs do too. Our guide dog puppies in training love the stimulation of new places and people. But they do their best work in familiar places and they always know when it is meal time. Keeping to a routine helps us to know when they need toilet breaks. So routine when puppy training is essential. 


But too much routine becomes dull and boring and that's why I said routine can be a bad thing. We all need some variety in our lives. It's good to go on a picnic or take a train ride into the City just for fun. Explore a part of world that you have never been to before. I love to pretend I am a tourist in my own town and take a ride on the hop on hop off bus.


Sometimes we don't want to break out of our routine because of fear. What if I hate the food at the new restaurant? Isn't it better to go back to the restaurant I always eat at where I know the food is good?  That is boring! If the food is not good, don't go back.


I know people who go to the same place every year for their holiday. They love it. They meet the same people they met last year and the year before. I would not like that at all. I guess we are all different. I once heard someone say that we are all either settlers or pioneers We need both types of people. If everyone was an adventurous pioneer, we would all be forever on the move and there would be no settled stability.


There is a time for routine and a time to break away from routine and have some fun.