Confidence

Confidence is something I have lacked all my life. The opposite is insecurity. Insecurity is based in fear and starts in childhood. None of us had a perfect childhood. I don't believe there is such a thing. We have imperfect parents and we ourselves are imperfect. We all operate out of a love deficit. Which simply means that none us of received enough love as we were growing up and we probably don't receive enough love now that we are grown up.
What does enough love look like? Well I think it means unconditional love and acceptance for who we are warts and all. Most of us, if not all of us, wear masks of one kind or another. We probably have different masks for different people and for different occasions.
I was raised in a dysfunctional home. Although, as I have said, no one has the perfect childhood I do believe that there are such things as functional homes


A functional home is where parents are the adults and make all the decisions. Children are not only fed, housed, clothed but are taught right from wrong including manners and respect for elders, peers and themselves. I know this is not easy but I know it is possible. Parents are not alone in the raising of their children. It takes a 'village' to raise a child. This 'village' includes teachers, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles and peers. For example our sons learnt a lot from a neighbour's son who was a few years older than them. He set a very good example for them to follow in the way he acted and spoke. I have never thanked him for that and I need to.


Confidence develops when significant people in our lives either loves unconditionally or respects unconditionally or admires or trusts us. When I was seventeen (sounds like a song), I wrote my first big nursing exam. One of my fellow students told me that she had it on good authority that I was expected to get honours for that exam. It spurred me on to achieve far beyond what I thought I was capable of and built my self esteem and my confidence sky high.


There is a danger in unrealistic expectations and encouraging another human being to their full potential. It takes wisdom combined with love and acceptance to bring out the best in the people around us.
True confidence really only comes when we realise that God accepts us and loves us and wants only the best for us. It is only when we feel confident in ourselves that we feel free to be who we truly are and to lay aside every mask we have worn in the past.