Determination

Determination is another word to add to wisdom, common sense and perseverance. I was determined to make this blog available to anyone who wanted to read it. But I like to switch my computer on and it has to do what I want it to do first time. I do not like going into settings and control panel mainly because I am terrified I'll make matters worse.
So there is the reason. Once again I found something I can't do and am too frightened to try for fear of failure. That way I stay ignorant, stuck in my fear and dependant on Howard who says a computer is only a machine and has to do what it is told. Oh boy! That is not easy for me to do.


Back to my determination. In spite of the fact that I only wanted to get on and write this blog (not that I had anything burning on my heart to write) I took the bull by the horns and took the time to fiddle with  the innards of my laptop. I am hopeful that I have managed to fix my problem. Up until now I have not been keen to show any of my writing to anyone else. Once again motivated by fear. While I keep it to myself I can fool myself that some of it is good and that I can call myself a writer. But this year is the year that I submit my writing for critiquing. In fact I'm going to join a critique group.


It's alright to be scared. It's only when the fear causes us to abandon hopes and dreams in case we fail or embarrass ourselves. I am reminded of the time when a younger woman said that she hated having a yearly pap smear. She felt so embarrassed. I quickly came back with "embarrassment never killed anyone." I have another friend who refuses to go back for another mammogram. She said the last one was so painful that she would never do that again. I wonder if she knows how painful breast cancer is?  Oh the joys of being a woman! But I digress.


I have plans and hopes and dreams for this year ahead. It will take a lot of determination to make them reality. Amidst the implementation of those plans, my overriding theme for each day is PEACE. Jesus said that he gives us his peace. He said 'Don't worry about anything.' So each day as I determinedly plan my day to make my dreams come I will say "May Your will be done in my life today."